And then came Mother’s Day

There was a day when I dreaded mother’s day.  Not because I don’t have the best mom in the world…I do-I do!

But because there was a time when I wanted nothing more than to be a mother.

And I couldn’t.

Since we now have two beautiful girls who are one and three-and-a-half, it’s sometimes hard to remember not having children.  And since having our second I find I don’t have the moments to pause like I used to, sitting completely still looking at my children with appreciation, love, joy and pure gratefulness that God blessed us with them.

When we just had our oldest daughter, for the first 10 or so months of her life I cried tears of gratitude every time I rocked her to sleep at night.  I can still hear the lullabies we played as she fell asleep.  I can still feel the warm glow of her nightlight.  I can still see her little face snuggled into me as she slept so peacefully.

I firmly remember asking God several nights as she slept in my arms to freeze that memory into my mind so I would never ever forget how I felt during those moments, what I saw and what I heard.

And as I had already learned so well, He answers prayers.

When my husband and I were first married, neither of us were in any hurry to have children.  We waited about three or so years before starting, not even thinking of any possibility that it wouldn’t just happen.

But month after month went by and nothing happened. Over the span of about three-four years we tried various things to get pregnant including fertility medications, all the way up to in vitro fertilization.  That was the most difficult time of my life thus far.

It is something that is hard to understand unless you’ve been through it.  Those few years were filled with every emotion you could imagine and I questioned so many times why God just wouldn’t give us a baby when everyone around us seemed to be having children.

I began to avoid situations that would remind me in the most in-your-face-ways of what everyone else had that I wanted: baby showers, kids’ birthday parties, family picnics at church and of course, Mother’s Day.

But this blog isn’t about the sadness.  It’s about the hope.  It’s about the fact that I would travel that hard journey one million times over because it made me a better disciple and a better mom.

There is no question that through those hard years God strengthened my faith. And I humbly had the opportunity to prove that no matter what the circumstances in my life are, I Believe.

And then came Mother’s Day.

To celebrate Mother’s Day is what I prayed to God for many, many times over.  I’m talking, on my knees, crying out, begging, pleading, desperation prayers.

And He answered.

Image

Worth the wait, worth the tears.

But most importantly I am humbled that God took the time on me…little old me to…to strengthen my faith.

These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world. 1 Peter 1:7

For my children, God made me a better mother so He can use me to lay out the plan for their future in Christ.  As James Dobson says in A Night Light for Parents, “If we truly believe that the eternal souls of our children hang in the balance – that only by winning them for Christ can we spend eternity with them in heaven – will we change the way each day is lived?”

Yes I will.

But only by the love that was shown to me through such a difficult time am I even remotely able to impact my children and show them God’s true love.

So on this Mother’s Day I thank God that He waited to answer our prayers for children; that we have two little girls who are healthy, happy and arrived in perfect timing.  My husband and I have been so unbelievably blessed by them in our lives, more than we ever imagined or asked for (Ephesians 3:20).  There is nothing more that I want to be than their mother.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Mama Burde

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I make cakes.

The real reason for not blogging isn’t my usual list of excuses: doing the dishes, chasing the kids or even incessantly sweeping the floor.

I’ve been making cakes.

Do you ever get to a point in your life where you’re like, how did this happen?  I’m not trying to get deep here by any means; after all we’re talking about cake.  Chocolate cake.

I just mean to foreshadow with a moment a few weeks ago when I was up until midnight making cakes. How did that happen?  When did I become a cake maker?

Let me tell you how.

When our oldest was one (just over two and a half years ago), I was pretty adamant that I wanted to make and decorate her cake.  I saw an infomercial for a massive cupcake.

You’ve seen it. The Big Top Cupcake.

And for the record it is no way 25 times bigger than a regular cupcake. They have worse measuring skills than I do.

Anyway, with the help of my mom I went at my first, pitiful attempt to decorate a cake. I hated every moment of it. You see, I have little patience for anything I can’t ram. And when decorating a cake, you just.can’t.ram.  I figured it wasn’t the best looking first birthday cake ever made, but she loved it. And again, it was chocolate.

The first cake I ever made. Not bad, but not great.

So, fast forward a year and our then two-year old wanted a bumblebee party with a ‘bumblecake.’

My mom (what would I do without her!?) ordered me a bumblebee cake pan mold and passed onto me her ‘tackle box’ of icing tools as if she was passing on a family heirloom. I was ready to do better.

And this was the moment, when I looked back on my work and said yes, I can make cakes.

The ‘Bumblecake.’ This was a bumblebee cake pan. The wings were heart cookies I made and the tail was a sugar cone.

And so it began my quest to outdo myself at every cake attempt.  And last fall when our oldest turned three she, the requester of all requesters, asked for a blue flower birthday party.

Not the most difficult cake to make, but it sure did look like some flowers. And it sure was blue.

I made three flowers out of cupcakes because she was turning three. And blue is her favorite color!

Just six short months later I find myself exhausted, sticky from homemade frosting and facing a disaster of a kitchen.

Two cakes in one night did a number on my kitchen.

I volunteered to make two cakes in back-to-back days.

Cake 1: Thomas the Train Cake for our beloved nephew.

I bought a small Thomas the Train and then focused mostly on the scenery. I like to challenge myself, but there was no way I was going to actually assemble a Thomas out of cake.

Cake 2: Nerf Gun cake for my brother and his fiance’s bridal shower. (Why the hay a Nerf Gun cake?  Good question.  You can read their blog to find out.)

I made two cakes in sheet pans, and put chocolate ganache in between and then cut out another square cake out to raise up the Nerf Guns. It was my hubby’s idea to use the two Nerf Guns pointing at each other. Be warned: black icing is a mess!

And then only one quick week after that I found myself face-to-face with the Big Top Cupcake mold that is TWENTY-FIVE TIMES BIGGER…I mean four times bigger…than a regular cupcake. Our youngest was turning one. It was time for redemption.

Mama Burde, you can do this.

With a purple dream cupcake theme, I made it happen.  I was so pleased with a sweet little purple cupcake cake for our sweet little baby boo.  And of course, she loved it.  And of course, it was chocolate.

Finally, redemption from the Big Top Cupcake!

Our little boo loved her cake!

I still like to ram when I make my cakes; there is so much that always needs to be done. My husband has even joined the Burde Bakery for clean-up duty.

So if you need a cake…think about contacting Mama Burde.  By looking at the pictures on my blog of course and make it your dang self!  I have dishes to do!  But really mamas, if this Mama can do it, so can you!

Here are the recipes I use (if you’re at all interested):

Cake

I firmly believe there is only one type of cake to make: chocolate.  No really, you can use whatever, but I have only used chocolate.

Make a regular box of cake mix, but add additional: 1T vanilla, 4T vegetable oil and 1 egg.  Make as directed, then put in freezer immediately after pulling it out of the oven.  I have kept my cakes in the freezer for a week before and they stay so moist! Decorate them right out of the freezer.

Dream Whip Frosting

1 and 1/2 cups shortening (Crisco)

1 envelope Dream Whip

1 T vanilla

1 T almond extract

dash salt

2 lbs powered sugar

2/3 cups cold water

Mix Crisco and Dream Whip then add vanilla, almond, salt (beat together) then add water (beat again) then add powered sugar.

Super easy!